As we’re in the midst of the holiday season, sometimes we’re forced to communicate with people who can be difficult to deal with. Whether it’s someone at the grocery store or a family member at a holiday celebration, learning how to communicate with difficult people is crucial to keeping yourself sane this season.

Here are a few tips to put into practice:

• Listen: We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Try to actually listen to what they’re saying, what they’re upset about, or whatever it is that they’re complaining about. Oftentimes listening is key to de-escalating a difficult situation quickly.

• Stay calm: We know, it’s hard to stay calm when dealing with difficult humans. If you react to their anger or negativity with more anger or negativity, it will only make the situation worse or escalate it further. Breathe through it!

• Try not to judge: It’s easier said than done sometimes, but try not to judge the person. They could be dealing with emotions or situations that you have no idea about and they’re lashing out – or maybe they just want to be heard!

• Respect the other person: Practice dignity and respect towards the difficult person. Belittling or talking down to them will definitely not help the situation. Also, note that smiling during a difficult situation might trigger an even more hostile response from the other person, so do your best not to smile.

• Look for some help: Is there anyone around that might be able to help? A manager at the store? Their spouse or someone they trust? You definitely don’t have to go at it alone.

• Don’t return anger with anger: You can’t fight fire with fire, right? Try to remain as calm as possible. Remember, you can always walk away if you can’t keep your cool. It’s not going to do anyone any favors if you’re angry, too.

• Saying I’m sorry can sometimes go a long way: Sometimes that’s all they want to hear! Just apologize and move on.

• Release your emotions: Go for a walk, get some fresh air, breathing techniques, counting to 10, sing, yell into a pillow, dance it out – whatever you need to do to shake it off and release the energy from your body. 

• It’s okay to walk away! If you’ve tried everything you know to do to diffuse the situation, tried to keep your cool, and it’s becoming a dangerous or abusive-type situation just walk away. Protecting your mental health, your peace, and your physical health is the most important thing. 

It’s definitely a skill to work on, practice, and get better at! It’s a valuable skill so if you’re able to implement one or two of these strategies at a time, then eventually all of them, you’ll find that dealing with difficult people will become easier and easier every time.

Written with guidance from Dr. Edwards